Hi there,
I just published episode #2 of Happy Death. “Slow Drip,” my interview with the late Leda Dederich goes deep into our ideas about identity. It reminds me of how funny I’ve always found it when I hear someone define themselves by a specific detail or preference. As in, “I’m a planner,” or “I’m not a coffee person,” or “I’m a milk-before-cereal person.” I catch myself doing it too. That snippet of identity seems to confer an outsize sense of control that could spill over the psychological boundaries of scheduling and breakfast.
For the planners out there, the idea of departing from expectations causes tension in the body and mind. This suffering is inevitable, as you really don’t always get what you want. What we seek is comfort. And identity — having a sense of knowing who you are — feels safe in its predictability. Suffering is also universal; it’s part of being human. How we respond to it can make all the difference.
Today’s episode features two beautiful people, Leda Dederich and Jasmine Charles. Speaking with them helped me understand myself a little better. Both were nearing their end of life, and both had profound ways of confronting that truth. For Leda, it meant weaving the bonds of family around her two kids. For Jasmine, it was an intense focus on living each day with purpose.
Listen on tenthwind.com, or on the Google and Apple podcast apps on your device.
Here is a video I made for Jasmine’s memorial service. She is a natural public speaker and advocate, skills honed in her years as a teacher in New York City.
On the fridge
I moved to rural Southern Illinois in 2020, then to Indiana last fall. I took that photo of Leda the day before I was set to drive 2,400 miles over five days from Berkeley, Cali., to my new home. (Read my travel journal, written for a friend’s newsletter. Vox.com wrote about me too.) It’s been an eventful and challenging past couple of years, including my …
Article in The Washington Post in June: Cancer patients face identity changes through diagnosis, treatment
Guest appearance on The Steam Room podcast with Charles Barkley and Ernie Johnson Jr. You’ll hear me at the 47-minute mark.
Speaking engagements at the Metastatic Breast Cancer Symposium in Berekeley, Calif., NYU medical school’s Practice of Medicine seminar for first- and second-year students, and two corporate events in San Francisco.
Leadership of the Young Superheroes project, where we are interviewing real kids who have to deal with the medical system. Our first book is coming soon, and every purchase donates a book to a children’s hospital.
Advisory role with Casual Recovery, a medical device company founded by my dear friend and hero Aisha McCain. Our first product just launched: A new standard of care for surgical drain management. Check out our clinical results!
Advocate training with the National Breast Cancer Coalition’s Project LEAD Institute in La Jolla, Calif., a six-day intensive seminar led by expert faculty from the NIH and academia.
Interview on the Chronically Living podcast.
Joining the board of the Bay Area Young Survivors, a non-profit community supporting young people diagnosed with breast cancer.
Volunteering in the Adirondacks and the Great Smoky Mountains with First Descents, a nonprofit providing outdoor adventure retreats for people with cancer and MS as well as health-care workers.
Role as caregiver for my Dad, who is living with Parkinson’s Disease and makes me laugh and feel proud every day.
Thank you so much for reading. I’ve already recorded the next two episodes, and they are in the editor. I can’t wait to share them.
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